The desire for legitimacy turns ague and the vapors into anachronistic diagnoses. We have come a long way. We have made great strides. Just because the names sound worse does not correspond to the rarity of such cases or to the death rates. That this myth of pronunciation leads you to seek out a country doctor will not make the house visits any less pleasant. Resist the obligation of brewing iced tea. Good manners aside, she will not drink it anyway. You cannot keep it down. On the occasion she greets you with a y’all you have two choices. You can tell her to get off your porch. You can tell her it is just you now. Expect an apology. Make a demand.